And on that Bombshell ...

Well, there I was at work coming up to 5 pm, there's a new email in my inbox.  Oh great. No it’s just more ApplauseStore X Factor spam surely?  No it isn’t … hold on ….

“Congratulations, you have now successfully been booked into attend the recording of TOP GEAR SUMMER 2013 - BBC taking place on Wednesday 17th July 2013 at 13:30.”

My own tickets at last! I had two lots of generous guest tickets and now this. I was amazed at my luck. Who to invite …. Well you know that by now.  I was very sad that one particular person I had invited couldn’t attend but settled on getting the three musketeers back together.  We had met on Twitter originally and then back in 2012 at Top Gear Live at the NEC in Birmingham.  We kept in touch on Twitter and Facebook ever since. 

So ... to the day …

“I am on the early train”  "OK good I will pick you up at the station, cross over the road, go down the slope and look for Pizza Express. I will be parked nearby."  So Jane was the first to arrive. 

The night before Helen and Alan had stayed on the other side of the river and found a fab pub to go to.  But now they were on the road to my place and arrived at about 9.30 am. Time to relax in the shade for a while before we set off.  Within 30 minutes the sun had moved round and it was already steaming hot.  We moved into the little shade left under the Ash and Cherry trees and chatted excitedly about the day ahead.  Ok, let’s gather ourselves and set off.  It would prove to be one of the hottest spots in the country that day, recording 32.8 C at Hampton Water Works, just over the river from us.  

We did the now familiar drive and arrived at Dunsfold at around 11.30 am.  Always leave plenty of time, just in case. It means a long wait but there are things to do.  We gathered by the entrance to the t-shirt store and had the now traditional picture taken and posted on Twitter. 

Then to the burger van…  yummy as usual.  Now shall I brave the Top Gear loos? Yes I am going to have to … fortunately this time not stinky and plenty of water for hand washing. Thank goodness.  It's really steaming hot now so we get ice creams and head for the shade, completing our quiz while we wait.  We meet up with others and as the time grows closer we move towards the spot where the crowd manager will give us the safety talk.  It’s really hot now.  Everyone is sweltering, many not in the shade.  

At around 1 pm we hear a helicopter arrive.  We are pretty sure it’s this week’s SIARPC as we haven’t heard any squealing tyres so far.  We wait… and wait… and wait… Then at last the crowd manager gathers us all together in the hot sun for the chat.  Then we wait … and wait… it’s well past 2 pm … we wait in the full sun for the last few minutes and are concerned we will all be fainting in the studio.  

Then, at last, the call … down to the studio, check the wristbands, and we are in.  Many people are already gathered around the set so no front row seats this time.  No complaints, many have Help For Heroes t-shirts on and one chap has his foot in a cast.  I happily take up a spot behind him.  Jane joins me. We are right in front of the green chairs, beside the camera station.  Helen and Alan head for the spot just behind Jeremy’s chair.  

More waiting, it's absolutely sweltering now. I do hope we start soon. It reminds me of a holiday in Rhodes we had years back when the temperature got up to 40 C.  At last the doors close, the lights dim and the floor manager addresses us, introduces the Director (who does the same speech and same joke every week), presents the prize to the winner of the quiz, and  he then introduces Jeremy. 

Jeremy bounds onto the stage and greets the audience.  He explains at some length the reason for his attire. Similar to last week … white t-shirt, blue and white (checked this time) shirt, unbuttoned, and jeans.  It’s their way of covering up the inevitable sweaty pits on such a hot day! OK too much information Jeremy.  He jokes with the audience, as usual picking on someone and telling them THEY won’t be at the front.  Then he introduces Richard and James.  They join the stage at the same time, Richard in … yes you guessed it ... dark jeans, white shirt and a grey suit jacket.  Nutter.  And the excuse is the same, he says it covers up sweaty pits, not that they are sweaty yet … so he shows us all … ooops yes they are sweaty and it’s only going to get worse.  Jeremy then point out that James just wears a shirt and jeans, a lovely loose turquoise one (which we understand he bought in India).  So who will win the sweaty pits competition … well James of course, as he lifts his arm to display an unstained shirt.   He has done it properly! (I can confirm when I met him later he was indeed fresh as a daisy, as always). 

So that’s the intros done, time to start filming, cameras away, phones switched off (not even on vibrate … off!).

The chairs are up on the stage this time and the intro is done over on the other side of the studio by Jeremy.  Richard and James had gone back to the green room.  Then we watch Jeremy’s film about the SLK Black … the grey one and the garish yellowy green electric one.  Afterwards they film another segment adjacent to the cars, with the lap board … no giveaways on the timings and anyway I couldn’t see and can’t remember what they were.  I think it was good news for Jeremy though. 

Moving on, it was time for "The News".  And bad news, the programme has to be 2 minutes shorter this week because of some motorbike racing following Top Gear on Sunday night, so guess what, they cut the news down.  They had used this particular News item on each of the previous shows but it had been cut by the Director.  This time Jeremy had a plan … they went through it again, quickly, and did it just as well as before, but a tighter more edited version. They finished crisply with an intro to the next item. No retakes. They will have to use that one. Up yours Director!  Haha! Jeremy seemed smug about that.   Even better, I am sure I saw Helen on the monitor behind Jeremy. Excellent! She looks stunning.  

Then they introduced the comedy item of the week … the Hovervan.  We moved over to the big doors in the hope of getting some fresh air, and be close to the exit when it’s time to break for tea. I was quite surprised at just how funny it was.  Actually why should I be surprised.  It was hilarious, the usual cocking about of course. 

 

Then it was time for the tea break and as they opened the doors, the sunshine flooded in … would James be there serving tea in the hot sun? No sign, lots of people already out there. I worked my way through the crowd in the direction of the usual spot and yes, there ... a glimpse of turquoise shirt.  Oh happy day! I am so glad Helen will get to meet James.  

I think I might have been the first of our group to arrive and take the gift of tea again.  James was already tucking into some sweets from a gold cardboard box that someone had given him … chew chew chew … constantly no sooner had he finished one then he popped another sweetie in his mouth. He seems to like them very much!  

I joined the queue and I waited as others had their photos taken.  Then it was my turn, again! “Hello James … here’s a goody bag as a thank you.”  He offers me tea and I take a cup.  He took the bag of goodies to and looks inside “This is all good” he says (Woman Crisps, BBQ Beef Hoola Hoops, Jelly Babies and American Hard Gums).  This time I have to ask him for a few autographs and feel a little awkward asking for so many (three … one for a friend who has a birthday as a surprise present, one for Snowy as a momento of her visit last week and one for me … greedy I know … a pic from last week as well).  “How come you are here again?” he asks “Have you cheated?” … “No! Guest tickets before and my own tickets today." He accepts that. I had said to him before, I didn’t expect this sort of luck ever again.  So time for the pictures … Jane has my camera and snaps away, his arm around my shoulder and mine around his waist. I encourage Jane to take plenty of photos, then  I make way for others.

It’s Jane’s turn and he signs her autographs, one for Jane herself and two for others. I snap away at pics for Jane then it’s Helen’s turn. 

Alan has been taking pictures throughout but now its time for him to take pics of his lovely wife with Mr May.  James asks which camera to look at and Helen points in Alan’s direction.  “Who is that?” he asks “That’s Alan my lovely husband” she says.  “He’s a very very lucky man” says James. Helen gets her autographs too and eventually moves away for others to get their turn.  One autograph is particularly graphic "Arse - Bugger Off. Love James May x" Perfect.  The pictures are lovely and James has a particularly big smile with Helen on his arm.  Niiiice.  

We look around for any of the other presenters and though there are rumours that Richard is out I don’t see him anywhere.  The crowd thins a little and we return to the tea table to sneak a few more pics of James.  He turns and notices us and sends a quick silly cheesy grin in our direction … and I caught it on camera! One of the best pics of the day. 

We go back into the studio for the SIARPC interview.  No chance of getting to the front for this one, Wolverine Hugh Jackman.  He seems a very personable, professional chap who has worked hard to get to where he is now.  Not my type but everyone I mentioned his name to before the filming was very impressed! We stood at the back near the green room where there was a bit more air.  After a while someone nudged me … there was James behind us, looking for a friend.  We moved over and said hello again. He was happy to chat for a moment. Helen took the opportunity to get her picture resigned as she had spilt tea over the first one. He’s happy to do so and also signs Geena’s lanyard too. She takes a pic of him and he makes a funny face at her.  I don’t take pics or talk to him but am happy to just stand there to observe and smile and enjoy the moment.  

Then we notice Richard is there too.  He had been out, went back in then was out again looking into the crowd and observing the interview on the monitor quietly.  Geena gets her lanyard signed and a photo with him.  He’s very cooperative so I risk it … “Hello Richard, may I have your autograph”.  Yes of course” he smiles and takes the Sharpie and the envelope I had for my photos (2^nd Class pre-printed - I found a little irony there but I think I will let that go … ).  He signs his odd signature (no message) and hands it back. He disappears back into the green room without another word.   

I also noticed a very striking athletic looking blonde outside the green room and after a few moments it clicked who she was.  Phillipa is it? She looks lovely and photos in the papers don’t do her justice.  

We are close to the Hovervan and it must be an opportunity for the next filming segment.  I find myself behind a chap but second row? That’s fine.  Then they move us all back a good 5 feet and somehow I am at the front.  Then of course the Director moves the young attractive ones in front of us, but luckily the very attractive blonde in front of me is is a little shorter than me so I still  have a good view.  There we go, the Hovervan item 1 is filmed, I may be in shot for some of it [yes I was, briefly!].  We watch the film and laugh a lot!

The heat of the day is forgotten. It's getting later and just a touch cooler, a sad reminder that filming will be over soon.

Then another item is filmed … the closing item this time. And another layer of beautiful people are added.  This time I'm not so lucky and peer around others from the third row.  Still I see a bit of it and am happy.  

 I have always said I have no particular interest in seeing myself on the telly (true I promise) but it seems to please some people and I thought what the heck, if it happens then fine and I have a permanent memento of my visit on film.  If not then it doesn’t bother me.  However after last week a work colleague emailed me … “I see your love of fast cars has been confirmed by your presence next to the McLaren”.  It made me smile.   

Finally Jeremy has to do some words to camera for Worldwide audiences … I am standing right behind him so won’t be seen … 6’ 5 verses 5’6 is no contest, until he shuffles a bit and I can see the camera lens. So maybe, just maybe you will see my mug on telly again somewhere in the world.  I am the one with the bright yellow t-shirt and sunglasses on her head looking a bit awkward.  

And on that bombshell, it’s time to end.

@VintageBarbara

Home Thoughts From Abroad

Ladies and Gentlemen, the following blog has been written by a Canadian.  

You have been warned.

 #ThatIsAll

 VB

"Snowy and VintagBarbara’s Most Excellent Top Gear Adventure" Written by Snowy.

It started with a Tweet. Just a simple tweet to the other side of the world.

Snowy: What’s new?

VB: I’ve got some terrific news!

Snowy: Don’t keep me in suspense!

VB: Keep it secret?

Snowy: Cross my heart hope to die, stick a needle in my eye, if I lie.

Now that I have recited the pledge that struck fear into the heart of every eight year old, I was committed. No loose lips on this one. No turning back. This was a “double dog” promise of secrecy!

Snowy: Ok lets be having it.

VB: I’ve got tickets for Top Gear for the 10 July!

Snowy: Eeeeeek! Awsomesauce! Lucky duck! Wish it were me!

VB: Wish you could come!

Snowy: Say hello to Mr. May for me!

VB: I can’t believe my luck and this is the best birthday present ever!

Snowy: Most excellent indeed!

Hmmmm....My mind went into overdrive. What are the chances that I have days off during the two TG filming days?”.  I grabbed my daytimer, lets see the 10 July. Holy crapoly! The filming falls on my days off. Am I mad? Can I afford it? Heck!

My Google finger went into overdrive. ‘Cheap flights, Vancouver to London’  Albatross Airways? Economy air travel, (wooden chairs, bologna sandwich) Done!

Snowy: Hey VB! Do you have a spare corner of the laundry room, where I could curl up? I won’t bother the cats or steal their food.

VB: Get over here!

With that I boarded a plane enroute to London. Did I feel posh? Yes! Was I an international jet setter? Yes! Well, in the theater of my mind anyway. And my bologna sandwich was like caviar to me. Spur of the moment decisions take on a certain cache, when a transatlantic plane ride to London is involved.

Having worked at film festivals and aware of the celebrity culture, questions arose. Will I get in? Will James give autographs and pictures, or will he hide in the green room during the tea break reading Airplane Magazine eating a pork pie? I fired off a tweet of inquiry, and to my amazement, he replied. He would indeed be serving tea. But as in life, things are subject to change, so who could be sure?

The TG day arrived. It was bright and sunny, wardrobe laid out, alarm set, 4 hours sleep, I was wide awake and raring to go! To avoid any possible cock ups on the motorway, we set out very early, we left nothing to chance. Enid all cozy in her satnav box, we fired up the ‘rod’ and our Most Excellent Adventure began.

We picked up our ‘rent a blokes’ and hit the road for Dunsfold. The air was tingly with excitement.

We drove along the road to Dunsfold and stopped at the guard station, a familiar sight when I accompanied James to work in his red Porsche. (via youtube) Greeted by a friendly fellow, we were issued purple TG wrist bands. After a brief lowdown on where to park and what to do, he assured me I could take in my picture for James to sign, along with a Mr. Big choccie bar, a reminder of his Arctic Adventure,  that I bought from Canada. We arrived in good time and parked in the first row of cars.

First stop, gift shop. Lots of T shirts with the Stig on them, but since he is my least favorite part of the show, I passed. I opted for a key chain and a sticker. I was hoping for a T-shirt of May and the boys, but since there were none to be had, I hazard to guess for licensing and monetary reasons, I left the gift shop only ten quid lighter.

We spent the next two hours eating yummy hot dogs, and sitting in the shade, madly googling the answers to the quiz. No one collected our completed quizzes at the door, so my guess, the prize went to the person that handed hers in. A slight oversight on our part, but never mind. 

After a briefing from what I recall to be a producer [it was the floor manager Snowy VB], we swiftly walked, (not ran) to the hangar where Top Gear is filmed. We flashed our wrist bands at security manning the door, and as our strategy discussed, we felt the best place to stand during the filming was beside the camera. That way we have a straight view of the stage and the presenters. If we stand behind the presenters, we had a good view of the back of their heads.

The stage was bare, only a security guard keeping tabs on things. No famous car seat for May and Hammond, nor Clarkson’s chair to be seen. Nothing was set up, odd.  The hangar/studio was smaller than I imagined. It looks much bigger on telly, especially with the swooping camera crane shots.

Geoff, the Eagle iThrust homemade car, and the poor old Toyota pickup were given permanent places of glory mounted on the walls of the studio. The Top Gear logo was painted on the huge hangar doors, the studio lights were set, cameras placed. Everything was ready to go. The floor manager took control of the situation, reminding us that if we were attending the taping with anyone we were not supposed to be there with, it might be a good idea to leave.  We were given a brief chat on studio etiquette, and the Director took the stage. I don’t remember much of what he said other than being an award winning director or something like that.

Jeremy then bounded on stage, and all six foot five of him was in very fine form. He was bright, cheerful and full of energy. He explained the ins and outs of laughing, then showed us a very naughty tape full of naughty words and out takes.  I never say no to an education. He wore his signature jeans and a blue and white flowery shirt under a t shirt, but I agree, the shirt should have been buttoned up. Ahem Jezza, note James’ shirt, copy.

Jeremy then explained the need for good looking people, who would be placed randomly behind the presenters for the eye candy effect. I was not given one of the ‘beautiful people wrist bands’, nor did I mind. I can understand how the audience at home wouldn’t appreciate hairy backs and arm pits behind Hammond and James.  Eye candy serves a purpose.  Jeremy went to town on a chubby lad, saying “both of you must get out of the shot”. I felt a bit sad for the poor boy, who was very big indeed, but he took it in stride, and played along. If you want to be at Top Gear, you must expect the unexpected, good or bad. I think Jeremy apologized afterward, just part of the gags. [Yes he did apologise and had a bit of a chat with the lad. All was well. VB]

Hammond was then called onto the stage, neat as a pin, wearing a tweed jacket.  Much more subdued than Jezza, he worked the camera but seemed to be a bit preoccupied when the camera wasn’t rolling. Then, camera ready, he sprang into action on que. Jeremy took great delight in calling Hammond a prat for his choice of wardrobe, and insisted he couldn’t make it through the taping with the Tweedie on. The studio was hot!

Then came the bombshell. Us girls had just been discussing hair, mens to be exact. Long, short, buzzed, curly, baldies, or the ever popular Friar Tuck style. I have always preferred long hair on men. No silly pony tail, just free and blowy. Don’t know why, must have been something to do with my Keith Partridge days. Jeremy then announced that James had gotten his hair cut that day.  Us girls exchanged looks of shock and horror! Last time James got a haircut, he looked like he got too close to the weed whacker. I held my breath, please let there be a little bit left, please, please, please..

“And everybody please welcome Mr. James May!” James bounded onto the stage, his locks barely touched, and my breathing restored, I took my finger off speed dial, 999 was no longer needed, they could put the paddles away. Whew. No possibility of pictures with Mr. Q Ball, (my worst fear) The lovely May locks were intact! I could now rest easy.

After the earlier “put away the camera’s, mobiles, and other recording devices, threat of death and decapitation speech” I dutifully put my ipod in my pocket. The three boys engaged in good natured banter on stage. All the while Vintage was happily snapping. Then Mark the stage manager said, “Ok, cameras away, let’s get going.” What??? I could have taken more piccies! Grrr....

The stage was bare, a little puzzling to be sure. First up was the video of the trip to Spain in the ‘reasonably priced super cars’. Is there such a thing? Really? The lights went down, the lads left the stage, and we watched one of many monitors placed around the studio.

The News was next. The famous green car seat was brought on stage along with the engine block glass table and Jeremy’s single chair. It was announced that after the news, we would break for tea. The lads entered and proceeded to do the news. It seemed so spontaneous and fun, but it’s scripted to be sure, as smooth as silk. Time is money in TV land, and this was quite evident. 

The plan was hatched. As soon as the news was finished, we would dash out for tea, in hopes that Mr. May would be around. [Actually they filmed the short intro for SIARPC just before tea too, so we were able to get in place near to the doors. VB]

And Oh my God. There he was, serving tea as promised. With photo and Mr. Big bar in hand, I made my way to the table. I said hello to James, the penny had yet to drop.

“Hi James” I said

“Hello”

“I’m Snowy” ‘

“Oh my word he replied, you came all the way from Canada for this?” 

“Yes, and a mini holiday as well” I said

“You are mad woman” he said.

(someone has to be)

My days off, Albatross Airlines and a bologna sandwich all presented themselves, plus a free ticket, and a chauffuer to Dunsfold and back, it was a no brainer. The stars aligned. I gave him a Mr. Big chockie bar, the kind from the Arctic Adventure show. (nutters, I live in Canada, and I’d never do that!) He thanked me and said he liked Mr. Big. bars.

James signed my picture and I quizzed him about the x&o levels on the pictures. I insisted on 3 x’s. He insisted on one x. He relented, I got my three.  

Pictures were taken, chat was exchanged, and it’s all a bit of a blur. James picked up my camera and took a few shots himself.  I was too shy and nervous to ask for a cuddle picture, as VB got one and I’m insanely jealous. [Actually Snowy, he offered. VB]  I don’t like to invade a person’s space, some folk don’t like to get too close, I’m one of them. I don’t approach unless asked, just my way I guess.

After I had my time with James, I was shocked to see hundreds, (maybe not) of people standing behind me waiting for their photo op with James.  I had no idea they were there.

VB moved in and got a huggy shot. (rats!) [Snowy, I said he offered! VB] I took some pics of her and James, and I think I got some lovely shots. There was so much happening, and so many people milling around, it’s hard to remember exactly.

VB wanted to get a good spot for the SIARPC segment. I wanted a huggy shot. VB went back into the hangar. I went to the loo. [Actually we both went to the loo then went our various ways. VB] I made my way back to the tea table, and James was still at it, this time with ice cream cone in hand, encouraging folk to come up for a picture if they want one.  I took a few snaps and he offered me the flake from his Whippy cone. Then I asked him if I could get a ‘selfie’ piccy. He told me not to push my luck, but was very accommodating with me as I took a shot of the two of us. It turned out great!

Pictures done, tea over, I made my way back to the studio. SIARPC was next. I stood at the back and watched it on a monitor. Just before it started, Jeremy appeared out of nowhere and came up behind the girl in front of me and went BOO! She screamed, and laughed. Jezza was in a playful mood that day.

After the Cumberbach interview, the winner of the race had to be announced. I was standing at the back of the crowd, so I moved around to an open spot and a load of people moved in behind me. The last segment came and went. James won the challenge in his Audi, but all three chose the Farari as their car of choice. I think because it was the same colour as my shoes.

Andy Wilman made an appearance, looking like something the cat dragged in as usual. 

Jeremy closed the show with his bombshell routine and it was done. The lads went back to the green room, and the audience left Top Gear world, perhaps lucky to get tickets for another taping, one day, maybe. The studio emptied quickly, I took lots of piccies.

So that is it.  My excellent adventure came to a close. I got a couple of great piccies with Mr. May, had a brief conversation, and my mind is now full of happy memories of my spontaneous trip to England, and my wonderful trip to Dunsfold to see a taping of Top Gear.

I will say in closing, one never knows what to expect. Expect the unexpected. Go with the flow. Take the opportunities when they arise, no matter how silly, or how long the plane ride. Opportunity may never come your way again. Go for it, and if it works out, it’s a big bonus. It will make you smile forever. I have met what show business calls “the talent”, before, many times. I work at film festivals, so I am well versed in the protocol. Don’t expect anything, but be grateful for anything. If you wish to meet a person involved in show business, play by the rules. Be respectful, ask for a photo or an autograph and be prepared. Have a picture to be signed, I printed my favorite off the internet, you can too. Have a Sharpie pen ready. Take an extra set of batteries for your camera, make sure your photo card is not full and your flash is working. Preparation is key to a great experience.

Put yourself in their shoes. Acting, or presenting is a job. It’s hard work, it has many benefits, but also many pitfalls. I work for a transportation company and I would hate to come home to find lorry drivers hanging around my house, or at my pub, hoping to catch a glimpse of me, or declare their undying love. If a celeb interaction happens on the job, or it’s work related, thats ok, it’s expected. But when the talent heads for home, leave them in peace. When the director yells cut, they revert to being people too. This is not part of the fantasy, it’s the reality.

And as for Mr. May, what can I say?  He is your next door neighbour who works on cars, with scruffy hair, saggy jeans, and occasionally stops for a pork pie, a beer and a chat. He puts you at ease, is friendly and thoughtful, and an unbelievably nice bloke. You did a good job Mrs. May.  I can tell.

 Snowy

Gifts from Abroad

Well, what would you do, if one day your friend on the other side of the world said “I have a spare ticket for Top Gear filming”.  Half joking, half hoping, I was able to offer Snowy the opportunity of a lifetime.  To my amazement and delight the response was “Hold on let me check my schedule” then “checking flights!”. 

Yes Snowy decided to fly all the way from the Pacific side of Canada to England just to come and see the filming of some pokey little motoring show to be shown on BBC2.  Bit of a nutter? Yes! With little more than a week’s notice she was organised, packed and on her way. 

Snowy can give you more details but here’s my account of “The Day”.

The night before filming we had a lovely meal out at a local Italian restaurant.  Wine and good conversation flowed. Later I disappeared off to bed early in the hope of a good night’s sleep before the big day.  Snowy and CR continued to chat and drink wine until a little later.  

By 2 am I was still awake, just as nervous as I had been on the night before the first filming I had attended, anxious that all would go well for Snowy, that we would be in a good position to see filming and meet James again during the tea break. 

Eventually, and mercifully, I slept a full four hours.  Up early just after 6 am to wash my hair and get ready, we left just after 8 in my car with Enid (SatNav Lady) to guide us.  We picked up our first guest, then on to our other guest (my boss). We swapped cars and happily we were driven the rest of the way to the Airfield.  “Is this the turning?” asked the driver … “yes!” at last we are there.  After driving up to the familiar gate (familiar if you have watched James’ drive to the office) we show our ticket and the man hands over the precious wrist bands! We are in! We park up on the grass and wander over to the portacabin where they sell the t-shirts and other bits and pieces.  I pick up a rather nice Top Gear Keyring.  

Snowy and I have a photo taken outside and post it on Twitter! Yes word is out, we are there! In person!  Excitement and anticipation mounts.  

My stomach is still churning with anxiety and nervousness.  We approach the TopGear Loos. Stinky is the word and no water to wash your hands with… the only downer of the day.  Drinking water is used instead and the lemon scented hand towels we bought earlier come in useful.  
 

Now time for a little something to eat.  I can recommend the hot dogs … the others enjoyed the bacon and beef-burger baps. All are yummy. We have been sheltering under the trees by the burger van as we eat and while the car park fills up.  It’s a sweltering hot day and everyone is moving over to the little shade along one side of the field under the hedge, so we join them, grabbing a picnic rug from the car, more water and the Quiz, which we complete.  Sadly I forgot totally where we had to hand them in so later, when they were handing out the prize, I felt a little embarrassed.  (Remember to hand your quiz into the same place where you buy the t-shirts!)

We sit and chat for an hour or so grateful for the shade.  I recommend we move down to where the little talk will be given by the Floor Manager.  The crowd grows and people start to move forward. We have our little chat and people are asked to move back.  No handbags are allowed in the studio, so those ladies with bags have to dash back to their cars. 

Then we are off, walking down the slope (don’t run in case you slip on the grass), around the corner, and into the hangar. We are checked for wristbands.  We head straight for our chosen spot.  Yes we are there.  Another chat from another floor manager, then a chat from the Director who introduces Jeremy.

There he is, Mr Clarkson himself just a few feet away from us, joking with the audience, putting us at ease. Telling us how and when to laugh! Yes we have to laugh again authentically during re-takes (not that there are many)!  Jeremy is in his usual jeans, a white t-shirt and a blue and white flowery shirt.  The shirt is unbuttoned. Not the greatest look for a man with that tum, but hell who cares.  Some people like that sort of thing.  

Then he drops the bombshell. It’s time to introduce Richard and James. Horror of horrors. He warns us, James has had a haircut! Noooooo…. Surely not!  Snowy is here for the hair!  So here comes Richard, wearing smart dark jeans a white shirt and … yes on a hot day a very smart grey tweed jacket.  Plonker  (yes he does get hot later).  And then Richard introduces James … we hold our breath… there’s James a few feet away, blue and white leather deck shoes (they look new), jeans, a yellow and white paisley shirt (Liberty fabric most likely) and the hair … yes the hair is still there! A few layers added to shape it a little more than last week but yes it’s still long. Phew! Snowy smiles.  

There are no green chairs on the stage yet.  They will be added later.  Jeremy introduces the first section of the programme (the trip from Gibraltar to Madrid).  No autocue. The intro is memorised.  Just a few moments before you see Jeremy going through the words he has to say in his head, then he turns to camera, says his lines perfectly and we all applaud.  One take.  Perfect. Then the lights go down and they show the film up on the screens around the studio.

After the film the lights go up and we see cameras being adjusted, the famous green chairs being put up on stage and soon we are ready to see “The News”.  Jeremy banters with one chap in the audience … what won’t make the edit!   It is all hilariously funny, one of the best. Some is the same script as last week but parts which were not shown, so it is reused, nothing wasted, they are all good stories.  They are word perfect. It all looks so natural and spontaneous but we know they scripted it, memorised it and then bounce off each other and act naturally. They are so professional.  They obviously enjoyed themselves greatly … one section is so funny James laughs almost uncontrollably.    In fact it’s so funny they keep going back over it again and again and don’t have time for another bit of the script … which they will use next week.

So The News is over, and the next section of the Spain trip is introduced over by the three cars in another section of the studio.  The guys leave, the lights go down and we watch the screens. 

Soon the film is over and it’s time for tea.  Yes it’s that time.  The last time I was there James was outside offering tea.  Will he be there again? We were one of the first out of the Hangar and yes, there he was, a few people standing a few feet away nervously.  We go over and he offers us the gift of tea. 

Snowy gives James the gift she has brought from Canada a “Big” bar like the one he had on the Polar expedition.  “Oh I love those thank you!”  He’s very pleased with that and also signs the photo Snowy has brought with her, the one of him in the helicopter.  “That’s an old one” he says. 

I am taking photos through all of this and Snowy and James stand together for more formal pics.  She had put her camera down on the table and when we are finished taking pics, James grabs her camera and takes a picture of her, then one of me, and then on of another lady standing by.  He says “Send them to me” ….

I am beside the table with tea on it, which is has plenty of cups ready for others to drink; not many are taking tea, more have water. “Will you have tea?” he says to me again (yes again) picks up a cup and hands it to me. “Yes please, lovely, but may I have a photo too, and an autograph for myself and my friend?  My friend in the US asked for an autograph so I had printed off a photo that I took last week.  He signs it for her putting her name at the top.  He knows her name and asks after her.  Thoughtful  man.  He signs my photo too "My God that shirt is bright!" Then we have a photo taken “Do you want a huggy one” he asks “Yes please!” So the arm is around my shoulder again (yes I know … do you want the details or not!?).  Photos are taken.  “Sorry about the cold hands last time” I hurriedly think of something to say, “That’s all right, they are hot this time” he says.

Then it’s time for us to let someone else have the gift of tea with James.  It’s all over too soon. A quick loo break (at least this one had water for washing hands) and back to the Hangar. We know that Benedict Cumberbatch is the SIARPC so I want to get into a good spot to be able to see the filming face to face this time.  I was at the back when Ron Howard was filmed and had to watch on the screen.  I get into place but Snowy wants more pics with James … she doesn’t know who Benedict Cumberbatch is! You go I say, knowing I have another opportunity next week.  She wanted a pic of the three of us but, well I was torn.  I stayed in place for SIARPC  filming.  I learn later that she gets a great selfie with James and he gives her the flake out of his 99.  Lucky girl. 

So the SIARPC interview is hilarious and very naughty. I will not say any more but suffice to say I think Jeremy quite liked Mr Cumberbatch’s mum. They edited that bit out! I think he enjoyed taking a ‘swipe’ at Jeremy  later! 

After the interview there’s an intro to the next section of the Spain film.  I am beside the Yellow McLaren but not in shot, too far behind others although I can sneak a peek at filming. 

After the intro they break and the guys troop back to the Green Room.  We are encouraged to spread out and watch the film around the hangar as it’s so hot.  I stay near the McLaren.  The last part of the film is shown and they all settle back around the three cars ready for the final sequence. I end up at the front which is nice and can watch as James reveals the results, and of course the Audi ‘wins’.   I also notice there’s a camera pointing in my general direction for when Jeremy and Richard talk. Hmmm perhaps I will be on screen after all.

Filming finishes and we are all a little disappointed it only took until around 5.30 pm, earlier than last week and much earlier than the 7 pm on the ticket.  It all went so smoothly. As Jeremy, Richard and James leave they walk right past me. “Bye bye” I said as James passed … “Bye bye” he says.