It started with a Tweet. Just a simple tweet to
the other side of the world.
Snowy: What’s new?
VB: I’ve got some terrific news!
Snowy: Don’t keep me in suspense!
VB: Keep it secret?
Snowy: Cross my heart hope to die, stick a
needle in my eye, if I lie.
Now that I have recited the pledge that struck
fear into the heart of every eight year old, I was committed. No loose lips on
this one. No turning back. This was a “double dog” promise of secrecy!
Snowy: Ok lets be having it.
VB: I’ve got tickets for Top Gear for the 10
July!
Snowy: Eeeeeek! Awsomesauce! Lucky duck! Wish
it were me!
VB: Wish you could come!
Snowy: Say hello to Mr. May for me!
VB: I can’t believe my luck and this is the
best birthday present ever!
Snowy: Most excellent indeed!
Hmmmm....My mind went into overdrive. What are
the chances that I have days off during the two TG filming days?”. I grabbed my daytimer, lets see the 10 July.
Holy crapoly! The filming falls on my days off. Am I mad? Can I afford it?
Heck!
My Google finger went into overdrive. ‘Cheap
flights, Vancouver to London’ Albatross
Airways? Economy air travel, (wooden chairs, bologna sandwich) Done!
Snowy: Hey VB! Do you have a spare corner of
the laundry room, where I could curl up? I won’t bother the cats or steal their
food.
VB: Get over here!
With that I boarded a plane enroute to London.
Did I feel posh? Yes! Was I an international jet setter? Yes! Well, in the
theater of my mind anyway. And my bologna sandwich was like caviar to me. Spur
of the moment decisions take on a certain cache, when a transatlantic plane
ride to London is involved.
Having worked at film festivals and aware of
the celebrity culture, questions arose. Will I get in? Will James give
autographs and pictures, or will he hide in the green room during the tea break
reading Airplane Magazine eating a pork pie? I fired off a tweet of inquiry,
and to my amazement, he replied. He would indeed be serving tea. But as in
life, things are subject to change, so who could be sure?
The TG day arrived. It was bright and sunny,
wardrobe laid out, alarm set, 4 hours sleep, I was wide awake and raring to go!
To avoid any possible cock ups on the motorway, we set out very early, we left
nothing to chance. Enid all cozy in her satnav box, we fired up the ‘rod’ and
our Most Excellent Adventure began.
We picked up our ‘rent a blokes’ and hit the
road for Dunsfold. The air was tingly with excitement.
We drove along the road to Dunsfold and stopped
at the guard station, a familiar sight when I accompanied James to work in his
red Porsche. (via youtube) Greeted by a friendly fellow, we were issued purple
TG wrist bands. After a brief lowdown on where to park and what to do, he
assured me I could take in my picture for James to sign, along with a Mr. Big
choccie bar, a reminder of his Arctic Adventure, that I bought from Canada. We arrived in good
time and parked in the first row of cars.
First stop, gift shop. Lots of T shirts with
the Stig on them, but since he is my least favorite part of the show, I passed.
I opted for a key chain and a sticker. I was hoping for a T-shirt of May and
the boys, but since there were none to be had, I hazard to guess for licensing
and monetary reasons, I left the gift shop only ten quid lighter.
We spent the next two hours eating yummy hot
dogs, and sitting in the shade, madly googling the answers to the quiz. No one
collected our completed quizzes at the door, so my guess, the prize went to the
person that handed hers in. A slight oversight on our part, but never
mind.
After a briefing from what I recall to be a
producer [it was the floor manager Snowy VB], we swiftly walked, (not ran) to
the hangar where Top Gear is filmed. We flashed our wrist bands at security
manning the door, and as our strategy discussed, we felt the best place to
stand during the filming was beside the camera. That way we have a straight
view of the stage and the presenters. If we stand behind the presenters, we had
a good view of the back of their heads.
The stage was bare, only a security guard
keeping tabs on things. No famous car seat for May and Hammond, nor Clarkson’s
chair to be seen. Nothing was set up, odd.
The hangar/studio was smaller than I imagined. It looks much bigger on
telly, especially with the swooping camera crane shots.
Geoff, the Eagle iThrust homemade car, and the
poor old Toyota pickup were given permanent places of glory mounted on the
walls of the studio. The Top Gear logo was painted on the huge hangar doors,
the studio lights were set, cameras placed. Everything was ready to go. The
floor manager took control of the situation, reminding us that if we were
attending the taping with anyone we were not supposed to be there with, it
might be a good idea to leave. We were
given a brief chat on studio etiquette, and the Director took the stage. I don’t
remember much of what he said other than being an award winning director or
something like that.
Jeremy then bounded on stage, and all six foot
five of him was in very fine form. He was bright, cheerful and full of energy.
He explained the ins and outs of laughing, then showed us a very naughty tape
full of naughty words and out takes. I
never say no to an education. He wore his signature jeans and a blue and white
flowery shirt under a t shirt, but I agree, the shirt should have been buttoned
up. Ahem Jezza, note James’ shirt, copy.
Jeremy then explained the need for good looking
people, who would be placed randomly behind the presenters for the eye candy
effect. I was not given one of the ‘beautiful people wrist bands’, nor did I
mind. I can understand how the audience at home wouldn’t appreciate hairy backs
and arm pits behind Hammond and James. Eye candy serves a purpose. Jeremy went to town on a chubby lad, saying
“both of you must get out of the shot”. I felt a bit sad for the poor boy, who
was very big indeed, but he took it in stride, and played along. If you want to
be at Top Gear, you must expect the unexpected, good or bad. I think Jeremy
apologized afterward, just part of the gags. [Yes he did apologise and had a bit of a chat with the lad. All was well. VB]
Hammond was then called onto the stage, neat as
a pin, wearing a tweed jacket. Much more
subdued than Jezza, he worked the camera but seemed to be a bit preoccupied
when the camera wasn’t rolling. Then, camera ready, he sprang into action on
que. Jeremy took great delight in calling Hammond a prat for his choice of
wardrobe, and insisted he couldn’t make it through the taping with the Tweedie
on. The studio was hot!
Then came the bombshell. Us girls had just been
discussing hair, mens to be exact. Long, short, buzzed, curly, baldies, or the
ever popular Friar Tuck style. I have always preferred long hair on men. No
silly pony tail, just free and blowy. Don’t know why, must have been something
to do with my Keith Partridge days. Jeremy then announced that James had gotten
his hair cut that day. Us girls
exchanged looks of shock and horror! Last time James got a haircut, he looked like
he got too close to the weed whacker. I held my breath, please let there be a
little bit left, please, please, please..
“And everybody please welcome Mr. James May!”
James bounded onto the stage, his locks barely touched, and my breathing
restored, I took my finger off speed dial, 999 was no longer needed, they could
put the paddles away. Whew. No possibility of pictures with Mr. Q Ball, (my
worst fear) The lovely May locks were intact! I could now rest easy.
After the earlier “put away the camera’s,
mobiles, and other recording devices, threat of death and decapitation speech”
I dutifully put my ipod in my pocket. The three boys engaged in good natured
banter on stage. All the while Vintage was happily snapping. Then Mark the
stage manager said, “Ok, cameras away, let’s get going.” What??? I could have
taken more piccies! Grrr....
The stage was bare, a little puzzling to be
sure. First up was the video of the trip to Spain in the ‘reasonably priced
super cars’. Is there such a thing? Really? The lights went down, the lads left
the stage, and we watched one of many monitors placed around the studio.
The News was next. The famous green car seat
was brought on stage along with the engine block glass table and Jeremy’s
single chair. It was announced that after the news, we would break for tea. The
lads entered and proceeded to do the news. It seemed so spontaneous and fun,
but it’s scripted to be sure, as smooth as silk. Time is money in TV land, and
this was quite evident.
The plan was hatched. As soon as the news was
finished, we would dash out for tea, in hopes that Mr. May would be around. [Actually
they filmed the short intro for SIARPC just before tea too, so we were able to
get in place near to the doors. VB]
And Oh my God. There he was, serving tea as
promised. With photo and Mr. Big bar in hand, I made my way to the table. I
said hello to James, the penny had yet to drop.
“Hi James” I said
“Hello”
“I’m Snowy” ‘
“Oh my word he replied, you came all the way
from Canada for this?”
“Yes, and a mini holiday as well” I said
“You are mad woman” he said.
(someone has to be)
My days off, Albatross Airlines and a bologna
sandwich all presented themselves, plus a free ticket, and a chauffuer to
Dunsfold and back, it was a no brainer. The stars aligned. I gave him a Mr. Big
chockie bar, the kind from the Arctic Adventure show. (nutters, I live in
Canada, and I’d never do that!) He thanked me and said he liked Mr. Big. bars.
James signed my picture and I quizzed him about
the x&o levels on the pictures. I insisted on 3 x’s. He insisted on one x.
He relented, I got my three.
Pictures were taken, chat was exchanged, and
it’s all a bit of a blur. James picked up my camera and took a few shots
himself. I was too shy and nervous to
ask for a cuddle picture, as VB got one and I’m insanely jealous. [Actually Snowy,
he offered. VB] I don’t like to invade a
person’s space, some folk don’t like to get too close, I’m one of them. I don’t
approach unless asked, just my way I guess.
After I had my time with James, I was shocked
to see hundreds, (maybe not) of people standing behind me waiting for their
photo op with James. I had no idea they
were there.
VB moved in and got a huggy shot.
(rats!) [Snowy, I said he offered! VB] I took some pics of her and James, and I
think I got some lovely shots. There was so much happening, and so many people
milling around, it’s hard to remember exactly.
VB wanted to get a good spot for the SIARPC
segment. I wanted a huggy shot. VB went back into the hangar. I went to the
loo. [Actually we both went to the loo then went our various ways. VB] I made
my way back to the tea table, and James was still at it, this time with ice
cream cone in hand, encouraging folk to come up for a picture if they want one. I took a few snaps and he offered me the flake
from his Whippy cone. Then I asked him if I could get a ‘selfie’ piccy. He told
me not to push my luck, but was very accommodating with me as I took a shot of
the two of us. It turned out great!
Pictures done, tea over, I made my way back to
the studio. SIARPC was next. I stood at the back and watched it on a monitor.
Just before it started, Jeremy appeared out of nowhere and came up behind the
girl in front of me and went BOO! She screamed, and laughed. Jezza was in a
playful mood that day.
After the Cumberbach interview, the winner of
the race had to be announced. I was standing at the back of the crowd, so I
moved around to an open spot and a load of people moved in behind me. The last
segment came and went. James won the challenge in his Audi, but all three chose
the Farari as their car of choice. I think because it was the same colour as my
shoes.
Andy Wilman made an appearance, looking like
something the cat dragged in as usual.
Jeremy closed the show with his bombshell
routine and it was done. The lads went back to the green room, and the audience
left Top Gear world, perhaps lucky to get tickets for another taping, one day,
maybe. The studio emptied quickly, I took lots of piccies.
So that is it.
My excellent adventure came to a close. I got a couple of great piccies
with Mr. May, had a brief conversation, and my mind is now full of happy
memories of my spontaneous trip to England, and my wonderful trip to Dunsfold
to see a taping of Top Gear.
I will say in closing, one never knows what to
expect. Expect the unexpected. Go with the flow. Take the opportunities when
they arise, no matter how silly, or how long the plane ride. Opportunity may
never come your way again. Go for it, and if it works out, it’s a big bonus. It
will make you smile forever. I have met what show business calls “the talent”,
before, many times. I work at film festivals, so I am well versed in the
protocol. Don’t expect anything, but be grateful for anything. If you wish to
meet a person involved in show business, play by the rules. Be respectful, ask
for a photo or an autograph and be prepared. Have a picture to be signed, I
printed my favorite off the internet, you can too. Have a Sharpie pen ready.
Take an extra set of batteries for your camera, make sure your photo card is
not full and your flash is working. Preparation is key to a great experience.
Put yourself in their shoes. Acting, or
presenting is a job. It’s hard work, it has many benefits, but also many
pitfalls. I work for a transportation company and I would hate to come home to
find lorry drivers hanging around my house, or at my pub, hoping to catch a
glimpse of me, or declare their undying love. If a celeb interaction happens
on the job, or it’s work related, thats ok, it’s expected. But when the talent
heads for home, leave them in peace. When the director yells cut, they revert
to being people too. This is not part of the fantasy, it’s the reality.
And as for Mr. May, what can I say? He is your next door neighbour who works on
cars, with scruffy hair, saggy jeans, and occasionally stops for a pork pie, a
beer and a chat. He puts you at ease, is friendly and thoughtful, and an
unbelievably nice bloke. You did a good job Mrs. May. I can tell.
Snowy
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